Like The Sun Loves The Moon
by politiksandprose
Summary: When troubled and tormented Ana meets an equally mercurial Christian Grey, can she let go of her inhibitions long enough to let love in for once? Or will her insecurities and past get the best of her once again?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi guys. This is going to be my first full-length 50 shades story, so you might have to bear with me a bit - i'm not totally comfortable with the characters just yet. I do take a lot of creative license here - the story is a bit AU/OOC - but hopefully I am still able to stay true to the essence of the characters. The timeline also does not go in order, but hopefully, it's all explained as we go on. Happy reading!**

**Standing Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to E.L James. **

* * *

_There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles_  
_Same old, tired place lonely place_  
_Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy_  
_Vanished when I saw your face__  
_

* * *

I stared at my reflection in the full-length mirror I had long ago made a habit of stowing away in my closet, my eyes widening noticeably as I took in my own appearance. I wasn't an extraordinary looking woman – in fact, most days, I couldn't even look in a mirror without finding a handful of things I wanted desperately to change about myself. But surprisingly, tonight I felt none of that self-hate and consciousness I was normally prone to. No, tonight, I felt radiant. Glowing, even.

My dress, the one I had refused to wear on instinct when Kate first showed it to me clung closely to my body like a second skin, its deep red color paling my skin in comparison beautifully. It stopped mid-thigh, almost too short to be decent, but paired with Kate's tan pumps, made my legs look more incredible than they ever had before. At Kate's insistence, my hair was curled loosely in waves around my face and my eye lids were shaded in hues of browns and golds, bringing out my otherwise dull blue eyes and making them look ethereal. I almost couldn't believe the woman standing in the mirror was me; If only I'd had Kate around in high school, I might have saved my dad a few thousand on medical bills and myself a whole lot of misery and self-loathing.

I turned to Kate, my best friend, roommate, and confidant for years now, who was shuffling behind me, patient and anxious all at once to hear the final verdict on what was essentially my make-over.

She raked her eyes over me once more, making sure everything was in place, but stopped as she reached half-way down my body.

"Wait right here," she told me before running into her room, her heels clacking loudly on our wood, her black-laced high-low dress flying behind her.

She came back seconds later and hooked a chunky, beautiful gold bracelet around my right wrist.

I pulled it up to my face to examine it closely; it didn't move out of place. It covered my wrist perfectly, concealing both my scars and my tattoo.

I found myself short on words and big on tears – not entirely a new phenomenon my life – but found some for Kate anyhow, "Kate … thank you. I love it."

Her eyes glowed in return, and I knew that if there was anyone in this world who could recognize the gravity of my seemingly simple words, it was her. She jumped excitedly in her place and hugged my closely, careful not to mess either one of our hairs.

"Oh, I'm so glad, Steele. Besides, I owed you one for agreeing to come to this thing with me," she pulled back smiling wide, fixing my hair once more and I admired the girl standing in front of me. Kate was my best friend, so sure, I was biased, but I was fairly certain there wasn't a woman on this planet that would even dare compare to the beauty standing in front of me. While it had taken hours of prepping and plucking and tweaking for me tonight to even be able to look at the mirror with any inkling of appreciation, Kate was an effortless kind of beautiful. With her long strawberry blonde tresses, her Pilates-toned body with curves in just the right places, her enchanting green eyes and seraphic smile, Kate managed to look both elegant and sexy at the same time. She was the kind of woman who left guys tongue-tied in mere seconds.

"What is this thing, anyway?" I asked, taking one more glance at myself in the mirror before grabbing my clutch that had fallen to the foot of my bed and following Kate out to our living room. I remembered Kate telling me it was a charity event of some sort, one of those high-end for millionaire kind of things her parents normally attended but couldn't this year, but that was all.

Kate, neurotic as always, made the final checks around the house – making sure all windows were locked and lights were shut – before gesturing at me to follow her out the door and to the elevator.

"It's this charity called Coping Together," she said, fishing the invitation out of her silver clutch. Once secured in her fingers, she began reading it and I giggled, rolling my eyes at Kate. Leave it to her to spend all day dolling up for a charity without even bothering to check what the cause was for. For all we knew, we could be raising money for the Hand-Jobs Across America Foundation, and I almost snorted aloud at the thought.

My laughter halted immediately, though, when I glanced at Kate's suddenly worried expression. She cleared her throat, her wary eyes trained on me, "It's a drug rehab program for teens and parents with young kids."

My stomach flip-flopped uncomfortably at her words. "Oh," I said meekly, "sounds like a good cause."

I felt Kate's fingers wrap tightly around mine, and I turned to face her, her eyes guilty and slightly panicked. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry, Ana. I should have check. We don't have to go if you don't –"

I cut her off as we landed at the lobby, and squeezed her fingers before letting go and stepping out. "Don't worry about it Kate, its fine. And of course we're going! We didn't spend hours trying to look this good just to sit on our asses and watch He's Just Not That Into You for the trillionth time."

She looked reluctant, her green eyes gauzy with worry. "Are you sure?"

I nodded, "Absolutely."

As we started walking towards her car, I began giving myself a pep-talk – they were almost a ritual of sorts for car-rides with Kate whenever she forced me to go out.

You'll be okay, you will be just fine. No one besides Kate there will know you. No one will judge you. It would all be alright. If you just sit at your table and let Kate do all the mingling as always, you can blend into the background until it's over, and then you can come home, pull on your sweats and hide in bed until tomorrow.

You can do it. Just breathe, Steele, just breathe.

* * *

I leaned back in my chair, my feet already aching from my pumps despite the fact that I'd spent most of my night right here, in this very chair. The venue of the charity gala was beautiful; I'd always thought Kate's parent's house was as beautiful as it got, but this house – or, perhaps mansion was a more appropriate word – was somehow even more glamorous, and I hadn't even seen it from the inside. Just the tent in the backyard had left me breathless.

Unlike me, Kate hadn't spent very much time at our table – she was busy hopping around tables, chatting up old friends and making new contacts; it was what she did, what she was good at. In fact, it was that aspect of her personality that led us to becoming such close friends over the years – her over-friendliness made up for the lack of my own social skills. If Kate Kavanagh wanted to be your friend, you best believe you would be. On the other hand, if you got on Kate's wrong side, for whatever reason, you'd better get used it because she didn't change her mind easily.

I swept my eyes across the dance floor, checking once again for Kate. I knew she wouldn't leave me here abandoned, even if she did find a guy to take home tonight. But I still couldn't help the growing paranoia that always crept up regardless.

I found her on the dance floor not too far away, dancing with a tall, broad and frankly, quite handsome man. His blonde waves sat perfectly coifed on his head, and I could tell, even from where I was sitting, that his smile was dazzling Kate to no end. She even looked a bit … smitten? That was odd. Kate didn't do smitten.

I continued to watch, forking a bite of the cake a waiter had just brought around into my mouth as Kate laughed hard at something the man had said, her fingers running down the length of his arm flirtatiously. Oh yes, Kate Kavanagh was definitely smitten.

I forked another bite of cake into my mouth, the rich chocolate melting on my tongue like an éclair, and I almost groaned out loud. This was delicious – perhaps the best thing I'd tasted all night, and that was saying something.

I dug in for another bite, my fork mid-air when I heard a deep, throaty chuckle from my side. Startled, I whipped my head, and felt my heart do a million tiny flip flops in my chest. Unbeknownst to me, sitting next to me and apparently studying me as I stalked my best friend on the dance floor and devoured chocolate cake like it was the last thing I'd ever eat, was the most heart-stoppingly, mind-bogglingly gorgeous man I had ever seen … ever. He sat tall in his immaculate navy blue suit, his left leg perched on his right knee, his long index finger slowly stroking his bottom lip. His eyes were grey and sharp, but dark at the same time. Inviting, smoldering … beguiling. His copper hair was messy and unruly, like he'd spent the night running his hands through it.

He was easily the most beautiful man I had ever seen. And he was laughing at me.

I immediately pushed the cake away with my fingers and sat up tall in my seat, feeling my nerves attacking me from every corner.

"I haven't tried the cake yet, is it really that delicious?" he asked, a wry smile on his face, his eyes lingering on mine before nodding towards my now-abandoned plate.

"Well, it was …" I murmured, feeling almost mortified. Why was he talking to me? Who was he?

More importantly, how the heck did he manage to come and sit next to me without my noticing? I know Kate told me this all the time, but I really needed to become more acutely aware of my surroundings.

His smile grew, and he extended his hand towards me, "Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Christian Grey."

My eyes widened in recognition at the name. He was a Grey – part of the family who was throwing this gala tonight. His parents, an elegant and regal couple, had stopped by at my table not too long ago when Kate was around for a minute, thanking the both of us for attending tonight.

"I'm Ana … this is a beautiful event. " I mumbled, grasping his hand.

I almost gasped when our palms met, an electric charge zapping beneath my skin, making my blood sing, pulling me towards him. He let my hand go immediately, a small frown forming on his face. Did he feel it too?

He looked deep in thought for a minute, his stormy grey orbs studiously staring at his hands that now sat limp in his lap, before shifting his gaze back towards me, his eyes untroubled once again. "Thank you. My mother spends quite a bit of her time planning it each year. However, I fear you've been looking a bit bored all night Ana. I thought I might give you some company."

I felt my face blush, my skin heating in response to his intense stare that returned the electric charge feeling, except this time I could feel it not just in my hand but everywhere else, too. "Oh, you don't need to do that. I'll be fine, my friend Kate should be getting back soon, anyway …"

He chuckled, cocking his head towards the side as he gestured towards Kate and her mystery man. "Oh, I don't think Ms. Kavanagh will be free anytime soon. Not if my brother has anything to do with it."

_Ms. Kavanagh_?! Oh! "You know Kate?"

He nodded, bringing his intense gaze back to my face. "Just met her tonight," he said dismissively, and then stood, pushing his chair back.

My heart plummeted. He was leaving already? I knew this beautiful, gorgeous man owed me nothing – the few minutes he had wasted chatting with me should last me precisely a life time. Besides, surely there were more important people he needed to socialize with – people he actually knew. But still, I couldn't help the surprising pang of disappointed I felt as I opened my mouth to thank him for his time.

His words, however, came before mine. "Would you like to get out of here, Ana?"

I stared at him with wide eyes, my mind blanking completely. For someone who had spent years writing and reading literature, it was a bit ridiculous how often words escaped me when I needed to actually speak them aloud.

Christian's eyes knit together in confusion, and I realized I'd waited a minute too long to answer his relatively simple question. I felt my blush creeping up my neck again – as if it ever had a moment to recede in the first place – and my stomach flipped in delight when his lips spread into a smirk, his enamoring grey eyes sparkling in the night.

"I'm sorry … out?" I blurted. Jeez, just forming cohesive sentences around this man was becoming a challenge. I sounded like a buffoon. For the hundredth time since he began talking to me, I wondered what the hell he was still doing here and how he hadn't dismissed me completely and wholly as mentally disturbed or slow yet.

But at the same time, for once I found I didn't care. Maybe he was sticking around because he got a kick out of just how accidentally weird I was, or maybe he simply felt obligated because I was a bored guest at his parent's party … whatever it was, I didn't care. I was enchanted by the man standing in front of me; at this point, I was almost ready to follow him anywhere. But for now, _out_ would do.

"I'm sorry, I should have been clearer since we already _are _technically out," he said, gesturing towards the marquee we stood under. "But I meant outside of the tent. I've spent entirely too much time with these highbrow 'intellectuals'" he said, making air quotes with his fingers as he scoped the party-goers around him, a sneer on his face, "and they're all starting to get on my nerves."

I nodded, standing from my seat and grabbed my clutch, taking out my phone, "Okay, just let me text Kate really quickly."

He looked oddly relieved at my words, and stuck his hands in the pockets of his suit as I quickly typed out my message.

***Taking a walk outside, text me when ur ready to go. - A***

I chucked my phone back in my clutch and looked up at Christian, smiling at him as he led us out of the marquee and to the backyard. Within minutes, I realized my heels would present a problem as I kept sinking into the grass, and told Christian to wait for a second as I leaned against a tree to slip them off.

His right eyebrow rocketed to his hairline as he watched me, his eyes widening in alarm. "What are you doing?"

I shrugged, feeling self-conscious at the look he was giving me. Jeez, the way he was looking at me, you'd think I was humping the tree not just leaning on it to take my heels off.

"Stiletto heels," I said, picking them up off the floor and hanging them in the air for him to see. "I'll either ruin these shoes completely or fall and make a complete idiot out of myself if I continued walking on the grass with them." _Not that I hadn't made an idiot out of myself throughout the night already_, I thought to myself.

He nodded, though looking severely confused still. With my heels off, I could finally appreciate my surroundings and I did. The Grey's backyard was surreal. Expansive would be an understatement, though I couldn't for the life of me imagine why just two people would need this much land. Most of it was grass, green to perfection, with rose bushes lining the sides as make-shift fences. A stony pathway in the middle, lit up by small iridescent lamps, led to the dock, where two boats were moored next to a beautiful little boathouse. The Seattle skyline twinkled in the distance behind it, throwing glittering silver patterns across the water. It was like a real life postcard.

I don't know how long I was rooted in my spot for, admiring the view, but when I looked back towards Christian, his eyes were fixated on me. His intense stare chilled me to the bone, but managed to fill me with warmth and tingles at the same time. It was disarming, to say the least.

"This is beautiful, Christian. It's serene. Makes me almost like Seattle." I joked, relishing how soft the dewy grass felt beneath the soles of my feet. God, I hated wearing heels.

"Where did you live before?"

"I lived in the Portland area when I went to WSU with Kate. I loved it there." I told him, my smile growing when he gave me a dubious look. It was the one I always got when I told people I preferred Portland over Seattle.

"There is no way you liked it better than Seattle…" He started arguing but I cut him off before he could go any further. I had a well-prepared retort for this.

"But I did – I mean, maybe it was the fact that I was in college and relatively care-free," I almost snorted at my own statement. Okay, I was never actually care-free. Kate had always referred to me as _mom_ because of my compulsive worrying ways, but he didn't need to know that. "And I didn't have a full-time job like I do now, or very many responsibilities. But I definitely loved living in Portland more. I mean, don't get me wrong, Seattle's beautiful and glamorous but it doesn't have that charm that Portland did."

He thought about this for a second, his face pensive, and I realized that, unlike me, Christian Grey rarely said something without fully thinking it through. Maybe I could learn a tip or two …

"I guess I can see what you mean," he finally said, smiling at me as we approached the dock. God, his smile was like a force of its own. It was incredible. "Do you know of Alberta Street?"

"Know it? I practically lived there. It's a little more mainstream now than it used to be a few years ago but my best friend Jose is an artist and he practically spent every free minute that he had there," I told him, noticing that his eyes had darkened slightly at the mention of Jose. How odd.

Distracting me, Christian came to a complete halt as we reached the wooden dock. "The wood hasn't been sanded down in a while, you might get a splinter or two …" he murmured, looking between the dock's large planks and my feet.

"Oh! That's fine, I'll just put my shoes –"

My sentence was cut-off as Christian lifted my into his arms, bridal styled. I could feel every inch of my skin heating up and my stomach clenching deliciously as he walked the short five steps to the side of the dock and set me down.

"You didn't have to do that, I could've just put my shoes on," I muttered, shifting myself into a comfortable position before letting my toes hang into the water.

He sat down next to me, crossing his legs over one another before leaning back on his palms. Illuminated just by the celestial lighting, Christian's face looked younger, almost more relaxed. I wasn't sure how old he was before, but now I'd peg him down for somewhere in his mid-twenties.

He looked towards me and winked, "I figured we'd save some times. Besides, those," he said, eyeing my heels, "do not look comfortable, or safe for someone who has been drinking. I didn't want to risk you tripping into the water and ruining that beautiful dress."

I rolled my eyes at him, noticing a slight change in his as I did so. In fact, I'd noticed it throughout the night at various moments – almost like his eyes would go rigid and cold for a fraction of a second before he pulled himself out of it. It was almost frightening.

"I wouldn't have tripped …" I muttered petulantly, though unconvincingly. One look at my track record and anyone would know I was likely to trip and drown in the water, but it was a bit uncanny that he could already guess as much. "Besides, I haven't been _drinking_. I've had one glass of champagne all night."

"So, did you graduate a few months ago with Ms. Kavanagh?" He asked after a short bout of silence as we stared at the picturesque scenery in front of us, and I couldn't really comprehend why he was interested in my life at all. In truth, my life was as dull as it got.

"I did, just two months ago in May."

"And you've already found a job? That's quite impressive for someone your age in the current economy."

I shrugged abashedly. It was, especially for someone with zero connections outside the ones I'd managed to make myself throughout college, but I'd worked hard for it. There were few people I knew who had as many internships and extracurriculars on their resume as I did, and luckily my hard work had paid off.

"I guess I was one of the few lucky ones." I said, feeling distinctly uncomfortable talking about myself.

"What is it that you do, by the way?" He continued his line of questioning, except this particular question I actually enjoyed answering.

"I'm an editorial assistant for SIP. It's a –"

"A publishing company, yes I've heard of it," he finished for me, surprising me. Not too many people had heard of my place of work – I almost always had to add an explanation. "I'd venture to guess that you like to read, then?"

"Like would be an understatement," I giggled, "it's what I would do all day every day, if someone would just let me."

He cocked his head, the moon shining just right on his chiseled face. "Anything in particular?"

God, was he really interested in this? It almost seemed so. "The classics, mainly. Although I prefer British literature to American."

He seemed to take a moment to take this in too, just as he did with everything else I said.

"And what do you do?" I asked him, before he could think of another question to ask me, and his expression in return was almost comical. He was frozen for a second, seemingly stunned and I sent a silent prayer up that he wasn't a part of the mafia or a thug or anything of that sort.

He shook his head infinitesimally, a ghost of a smile on his lips. "I work in the world of mergers and acquisitions." He said, but that seemed to be all he was offering me. And in truth, those words meant nothing to me.

Before I could rake my brain for another question to ask him, my phone beeped from my clutch, breaking us out of the bubble we'd somehow found ourselves in, leaving us both looking a bit startled.

I checked the time before opening the message. Whoa! We'd been out here for over an hour and a half. Christian seemed to be realizing the same as he squinted at the watch adorning his wrist.

***Ready to go. Meet me out in front in 5. – K***

I stowed my phone back in my clutch before reaching for my shoes. As nice as it was to be carried by Christian earlier, I don't think I could handle that kind of mortification knowingly this time. "That was Kate. She said she's ready to go."

Christian stood, and waited until my shoes were on securely before helping me to my feet. I felt the same damn charge tingle under my skin again and hoped he was feeling it as well because otherwise, I was becoming certifiably crazy.

He shoved his hands into his pocket the second I was stable and standing, and a mixture of utter confusion and relief passed across his face.

"You don't have to bother walking me up – I'm sure I can find my way …" I began telling him, suddenly feeling inexplicably awkward and responsible for his sudden mood-shift.

His head whipped in my direction at lightning speed, his gray eyes bright. "Don't be silly, of course I'll walk you."

_Whoa… _His voice and demeanor had changed, certainly not match the person I had just spent over and hour talking to. This was much colder and distant. He led me across the dock and we took the stony pathway this time, having opted for the grass on the walk down at my insistence. We walked past the marquee, just a few guests remaining inside the tent now, and towards the valet.

There, still attached to Christian's brother – this time by her lips – stood Kate. The two were leaning against the car, totally oblivious to the rest of the world, and I took the moment to bid my goodbye to Christian.

It just hit me then - save for _maybe_ whatever was brewing between Kate and his brother - Christian and I didn't exactly run in the same circles, and it was unlikely that I would ever see this almost illegally gorgeous man ever again. I suddenly felt my mood plummet, the aching in my stomach growing, though this time not from butterflies or tingles or whatever it was that I felt earlier.

"Thanks for showing me around, Christian," I said, turning to him and extending my hand towards him. "It was nice meeting you."

He exchanged the pleasantries, and I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not, but he seemed almost just as averse to saying goodbye. I reluctantly walked away from him and towards Kate.

I coughed discreetly once close enough, hoping to get her attention and she peeled herself away from Christian's brother. She held up a finger, telling me to hold on just a second as I watched her exchange numbers with the other Grey brother. He whispered something in Kate's ear, and she giggled loudly. God, Kate was so smitten; I could barely even recognize her!

I took the keys from Kate's fingers, able to tell from her glossy stare that she was in no condition to drive and helped her around the car.

Before I could get into the passenger side, I felt a long, lean hand rest on my shoulder and turned, finding Christian standing close behind me. His expression was unfathomable as he grasped my hand – and then kept it there. The charge kept humming.

"I really enjoyed tonight Ana, more than you know." He suddenly seemed deep in thought, his eyebrows knitting together. "I would … I would like to take you out tomorrow, if you're available."

I felt my breath leave my body. _Was this extraordinarily beautiful man actually asking me out?_

I felt a little dizzy, and I think he could tell. His arm came to grasp my shoulder lightly, a slight smirk on his face. My mind was exploding with _yes_'_s, _a hundred, thousand yes's but before I could voice them, I became distracted by a woman who lingered in the back, giving me a look that left me feeling bereft and cold. She looked elegant, and a bit older. Her platinum blond hair was pulled back in a beautiful chignon, revealing her face. She was quite beautiful, but something about her didn't sit right with me.

Sensing my stare and hesitance, Christian turned to see what had caught my attention, and I felt him go rigid next to me. When he turned back, his eyes were cold – colder and meaner than I'd seen them all night – and I suddenly remembered just how many times this had happened tonight.

Christian was charming, attentive, interesting, and beautiful – there was no question about that. But in this moment, he wasn't any of those things. In fact, he was a bit terrifying, and even though there were few things I wanted more than to see this man again, in this moment, I just wanted to run into Kate's car and hide away. He had no way of knowing this, he had just met me tonight, but I wasn't good in moments like these – I was too indecisive, and far too panicky.

Realizing that I hadn't answered his question, I quickly mumbled something about being busy to Christian and slipped into the car, avoiding his intense gaze.

I snuck a glance as I started the ignition; he had taken a few steps back now, his expression a mixture of confusion and anger and … hurt?

It only took me the 30 second drive from the driveway to the entrance gate before I was already regretting my decision. Christian, beautiful, enchanting, charming – and sure, a bit capricious – _Christian Grey _had asked me out and I had turned him down. _For how long will my fucked up anxiety and nerves hold me back? When will I finally get strong enough to power through them?_ I mused, my mood going bad to worse at this point, wishing Kate wasn't knocked out in the passenger seat so she could talk me through this like she always did. I had the sudden urge to bang my head against the steering wheel.

Why didn't I just say yes? Why, why, why?

* * *

_My thoughts will echo your name_  
_Until I see you again_  
_These are the words I held back_  
_As I was leaving too soon_  
_I was enchanted to meet you_

* * *

**A/N: That's a wrap on chapter 1! Reading 50 shades, I always saw a few problems that Ana saw within herself that went completely unexplored; Flynn mentioned it once but that was it. In this story, that's what I'm hoping to shed some light on, while giving it my own twist. On another note, I am looking for someone to help me beta this - someone w/ a good understanding of the characters who can edit this because I am terrible at proofreading my own work. Hope you all enjoyed this. I'd love to hear from you guys on whether I should continue with this or not!**

**Song: Enchanted, Taylor Swift. **


	2. Chapter 2

_Light on my heart, light on my feet_  
_Light in your eyes I can't even speak_  
_Do you even know how you make me weak_

* * *

Sleep didn't usually come by too easily for me. I wasn't like many of the people I used to go to group therapy with – people who would fall asleep, but too often woke up from nightmares, turning them off from sleeping altogether. I didn't have nightmares, and when I did sleep, I was out like a light. It was just that most nights, I would toss and turn in bed, hoping and wishing for just a few hours of sleep, but wouldn't get any.

My doctor said that it was probably a side effect of all the medication I was on and that another pill would likely be the only solution but I steadfastly refused. I already took enough medication as it was. I refused to add another bottle to what I secretly liked to call my Drawer of Shame.

But last night, it wasn't the meds that kept me up all night. In fact, I was quite looking forward to getting some sleep for once, my eyelids droopy by the time I had found parking and dragged a very drunk and rambunctious Kate into our apartment. And okay, at that point, _maybe_ I was hoping of dreaming about a certain man I'd met just a few hours ago, whose intense gray eyes I couldn't seem to get out of my mind. But instead, I'd spent the better half of last night alternating between holding back Kate's blond hair as she heaved everything she'd consumed in the last 2 days and _more_ into our toilet and watching re-runs of _Friends _for the few moments where Kate would fall asleep, her head resting on a pillow I'd brought to her in the bathroom halfway through the night when I realized she wasn't coming out soon.

Sometime around four, when Kate had knocked out again, I had remembered to pull out my notebook to jot down my 'thought of the day.' Kate's brother Ethan had bought it for me for my birthday two years ago – it was a thick, robin's egg blue book that fit right into my palm, with just enough space for me to squeeze in a sentence or two per day, for the next three years. I remember I had complained to him about how I rarely got the time to write back then, and when I did, I didn't know where to start. A few days later, he got me this so I could write at least something each day. It was the perfect gift.

I found it in my Drawer of Shame and pulled it out, flipping to the page I'd written on last. I usually only put down a few words to sum up my day, but for once, I found myself at a complete loss. How could I describe tonight in only in mere words? Tonight was indescribable, the man I met even more so. The thought that words could do it any justice was almost ludicrous. But I tried anyway.

"_Thoughts of you are like a hurricane;" _I started, thinking only of his eyes. They were a stormy kind of grey. Beautiful, yet terrifying. "_Destroying everything in their path but leaving a rainbow in their wake. I am drowning in you."_

That was as close as I could come, I decided, to explaining tonight. I pushed my tiny dairy back into the furthest corner, almost jumping when I heard Kate's voice. Keeping secrets from Kate were almost impossible, but I'd manage to keep this little journal out of her sights. I intended to keep it that way for as long as I could.

I walked back to the living room and folded myself back onto the couch. Kate eventually came creeping out of the bathroom a few minutes later, her blonde hair, which was coiffed so beautifully last night now a mess, stiff with hairspray and who knew what else. Her complexion was pale, an anomaly for Kate who was usually just one shade of orange away from looking like the Jersey Shore cast.

She collapsed onto the sofa beside me and I quickly tucked her into my blanket. She looked like she could use it more than me at the moment.

"All done? Feeling any better?" I asked sympathetically, and she nodded.

"I don't think there's anything left more to barf out, Steele. I think that god damn sushi I had earlier yesterday got me," she groaned, rubbing her tummy. "I knew it was a bad idea to get sushi from a food truck."

"The alcohol last couldn't have helped, either," I said, rolling my eyes at her. Really? Sushi from a food truck? Why _anyone_ would think that was a good idea was beyond me, let alone the girl who just graduated from her university at the top of her class mere months ago.

"I can make you some tea," I added, more helpfully this time. "Or I could run down to the store and grab you some Gatorade?"

She nodded her head meekly, "Tea please."

I got up, filled the kettle and switched it on before grabbing myself a bowl of cereal. Kate always hated when I did this – ate my cereal and drank my tea simultaneously. My solids to liquid ratio was off, according to her. But my Cap'n Crunch just didn't taste as good when I didn't have a cup of black tea to accompany it.

The water came to a broil as I set my bowl of cereal on the coffee table, and I poured the steaming water into two mugs, dipping the tea bags in them for only a few short seconds. With her stomach, Kate needed her tea weak and it was the only way I ever drank mine.

I passed Kate's to her as I set mine on the table, opting for my cereal as my tea cooled down.

"This should make you feel better," I told Kate, hoping it would. It was unusual for Kate to be sick, but when she was sick, she was just a tiny bit insufferable.

She nodded her head and blew on her mug before taking a small sip, letting out a content sigh. I turned back to the TV, and turned up the volume. I'd only been watching for a few minutes before I felt Kate's eyes staring a hole into the side of my head. Trying to ignore it, I flipped channels looking for something new to watch now that the Friends re-runs were over and Nickelodeon had switched to its children's shows.

I gave up nearly three minutes later when I came up empty-handed and tossed the remote on the couch, turning to face Kate whose eyes were still on me, her stare sheepish.

I groaned internally. This stare only meant one thing: Kate was about to ask me for a favor – and it was going to be something I wouldn't be able to refuse. Kate was a compelling force when she wanted to be, which she did almost all of the time. "Okay, you've been staring at me for the past five minutes. Just spill it. What do you need?"

She bit her lip nervously, shifting in her seat. "I need to ask you a huge, huge favor …" She started.

I nodded once, "I figured as much."

"And I swear I wouldn't be missing this opportunity if I was feeling even just a tiny bit better but I really am doubting my capability to even walk today, let alone hold an interview with –"

"No," I said, my eyes growing wide. I had to do this once before and it was _hell. _Absolutely, positively hell. "Kate, I _can't_ interview someone for you. I really can't. You know how I get around new people! I get nervous and clammed up and I don't really speak and my brain goes into overdrive and honestly, you would just be so much better off if you postpone this …"

"Ana, please, please, please. I can't postpone this, I would if I could. But my editors are getting on my back and I really, really need to submit a story that'll blow their minds and this is it because Grey never agrees to interview with anyone and I finally got him to say yes last night and if I miss it today, I'll blow my chances because he's going on a business trip in a few days and won't be back for a week –"

I tuned out of Kate's one sided conversation as a chill ran through my spine, my stomach erupting into butterflies in the most delicious way just at that name. I felt myself sit up straighter on the couch, my tea now abandoned. _Grey._ Oh, God. She couldn't be talking about Christian, right? She could be talking about his brother – the one Kate was making out with last night. Or maybe they had another sibling. Or his father?

Kate was still rambling on about why she desperately needed this interview when I stopped her mid-sentence. "Grey, as in the family who hosted the charity event last night?" I tried for nonchalant, not sure in the least if I'd managed it.

"Yeah," Kate affirmed, "the very same. I've been trying for months to get an interview with Grace and Carrick's son, Christian, but he's apparently been too busy."

_What?_ Before I could ask a question, or take a minute for my brain to wrap around this, Kate was already speaking again.

"Grey runs this company – Grey Enterprise Holdings Inc., it's one of the biggest, most successful and fastest growing companies in the world and he basically built it up from scratch himself after dropping out of Harvard. He's a multi-billionaire, and almost mind-blowingly good-looking," _Good lord, yes he was! My mind screamed out loud at that. _"But he's really weird and secretive. Like an enigma, almost. And he never does interviews, which is why it would be the biggest deal ever if I got this interview. I practically had to big him for this last night."

My mind was reeling, and I suddenly hoped Kate wouldn't remember seeing me talking to him last night; if she remembered, there was no way I was getting out of this.

But, holy cow! Christian – the same Christian I spent the better half of my night with last night was a billionaire? He went to Harvard? He _dropped out of _Harvard? _What?_ None of this was making sense.

"Christian is a billionaire?" I voiced my thoughts out loud to no one in particular, but watched as something clicked in Kate's head at the mention of his name.

"Wait a second …" She said, her eyes growing wider by the second as she threw the blankets off her and sat up straight in the couch, towering over me now. "Oh. My. God! I can't believe I forgot – I was too drunk to even really realize last night but … oh my God!"

_Oh no¸ _I thought. She remembers.

"You were with Grey last night! I remember seeing you two when I was saying bye to Elliot …" I snorted at that. That was some goodbye. "And I had wanted to ask you what you were doing with him but I knocked out before I could – how the heck did you end up talking to him?"

Kate's eyes were like saucers at this point, and I could tell the Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition had begun. Annoying as it was, her inquisitiveness was precisely the reason why she made an excellent journalist.

I shrugged non-committedly, as if I had extremely gorgeous billionaires coming up to me every night. "I was just sitting at our table when he came and introduced himself. He took me on the tour of their grounds and down to the dock. He was really friendly, actually."

Her eyebrows shot up at that. "Christian Grey is called many things, Ana. But 'friendly', is almost never one of them. I can't believe he just walked up to you – I mean, he basically made it clear to me that I was not to refer to him as Christian when Elliot introduced us."

_What_? My mind reeled at that once again. He had no problem when I called him by his first name … did he? He hadn't said anything, so I assumed he had no issues with it.

Kate's eyes were shifting, becoming more excited as she further thought this through. "Oh my God, Ana! Maybe he was into you! Did he hit on you?"

I felt my face blaze. Even in front of Kate, I could barely talk about myself. "Umm. He, uh, asked if he could take me out –"

Kate's jaw dropped. "Oh, please don't tell me you said no, Ana!" She was almost shrieking, illness apparently forgotten.

I nodded my head, almost ashamed though I didn't know for what. "I just froze and I didn't know what to do so I kind of just made up some excuse and left."

Kate's eyes looked like they could pop out of her head at any point now. It was difficult to leave Katherine Kavanagh speechless, but I think I might have just done it.

Her hands clapped together as a smile broke out on her face, "Well this is perfect then! Your second chance! You _have_ to go now!"

* * *

Kate had worked her magic again. She'd laid out an outfit for me – all her clothes – while I changed, and then starting working on my make-up as soon as I was out. I let my hair air-dry, only hoping that the rain outside would let up long enough that my hair wouldn't frizz. In the meantime, I took to reading and re-reading Kate's quotes as well as a small biographical paragraph on the enigmatic Christian Grey. With each word I read, I felt as though last night must have been a dream or a mirage of some sort.

Christian was a 27 year old self-made billionaire, who was adopted by his parents, Grace and Carrick, when he was just a few years old. He didn't date, at least not publicly, but was a known philanthropist. He gave the commencement speech for the graduating class at UC San Diego earlier this year, and, because I had some time while Kate applied blush and eyeliner to my face, I found the video of the speech on YouTube on my laptop and watched it. His eloquent words on eradicating hunger and poverty across the globe left both Kate and I awe-struck. When he went on to talk a bit about his own personal history with hunger, and how its motivated his own charitable nature, Kate literally had to pause and go on a rant about how it wasn't possible that a man could be so perfect – he _had _to have some sort of tragic flaw.

By the time Kate was finally finished with me, I was convinced that Christian Grey had to be the most exquisite man I had ever met. And there was no way he would bother to ask me out again. It's not like he didn't have easy pickings – surely, he had a line of other girls dying for his attention. He would waste no time on the dumb one who already, for reasons still so inexplicable and vague _even to her_, had rejected him.

I stood from Kate's bed and walked over to the mauve colored shoes she'd left out for me – thank God, they were the bearable kind with just a small enough heel that I could walk without looking like I had inverted knees. They looked good with the turquoise pencil skirt and cream silk button down she had forced me to wear despite my resistance, though I had to admit, the skirt did bring out curves I wasn't aware I had until last night.

As I walked into my room from Kate's, I could already feel my heart beating a mile a minute as pushed my credit card, cell phone and license – the necessities – into the sleek handbag Kate had lent me. I could feel my anxiety starting to get the best of me, but when I turned around to tell Kate to call this whole thing off because I just could not do it, I found her standing behind me, a glass of water in one hand, my medications in the other.

"You haven't taken these yet, have you?" She asked knowingly, a smirk on her face. I shook my head and took them from her, swallowing the pills with a gulp of water. This should help, I hoped.

Kate took the glass of water from me, setting it on my side table before gripping my shoulder with her hands. "Steele, listen. You got this. You took your meds, you'll feel calmer in just a bit, and you know that. And besides, it's Sunday and Christian said that only he, his receptionist and his assistant will be in his office today. So you really have nothing to worry about, okay? There aren't going to be a bunch of people making you nervous or anything."

And then she nudged me, her face breaking out into a grin, "And plus, you already spent the entire night with Christian Grey … you can just pick up where you left off."

I rolled my eyes at her, "God, Kate. We just talked!"

"Well, then go 'just talk' to him again," she said, winking at me as she pushed me out the door. "And thank you so much for this, I owe you big time."

Xx

The Grey Enterprise headquarters wasn't a far distance from our apartment in the Pike Market District and within twenty minutes, I was parking Kate's Mercedes in the office building's parking deck.

The building itself, all glass and steel, was beautiful, towering over me and shooting up into the angry clouds. I walked in towards the glass doors, catching the discreet steel letters as the screen swiveled to my right that read Grey House.

The lobby, also glass and steel, with an added touch of sandstone, was immaculate. Everything about it seemed pristine, from the chic white and black leather sofas to the receptionist's desk. Gosh, even the receptionist, with her platinum blonde bob and impeccable charcoal suit, seemed to scream perfection.

She smiled pleasantly at me as I walked towards her, holding my purse closely to my side. God, I was nervous.

"Hello, Anastasia Steele, I'm here for Katherine Kavanagh. I'm here to see Mr. Grey."

"Just a second," the blonde receptionist said, typing something into her computer before looking up at me again. "Ms. Kavanagh is expected. Please sign here" she said, handing me a black ball-point, before giving me directions to the elevator and handing me a pass that read VISITOR in big, bold words.

Thanking her, I walked towards the elevators, passing two men in smart black suits who looked like they belonged to the Secret Service.

As soon as I got into the elevator, I pressed the button for the 20th floor – the very top floor of this incredibly tall building – and glanced at my chunky but stylish watch, a graduation gift from Kate, which I had remembered last minute to secure strategically on my right wrist. I was on time.

The elevator whisked me up quickly, too quickly, not giving me enough time to collect my frayed nerves before the doors slid open, revealing another large lobby that looked almost identical to the one downstairs.

Another young blonde woman wearing a charcoal skirt suit – was I starting to see a pattern here? – rose from her desk to greet me, a warm smile on her face.

"Ms. Steele, could you wait here, please?" She said, leading me towards a set of black leather chairs. "Mr. Grey will see you in just a moment."

I nodded, my nerves paralyzing me from speaking. As she walked back toward her desk, I glanced around the office, in awe of how close to perfection everything was here. The sofas, the conference room I could see just a tin corner of, the receptionist's desk … it was all beyond incredible. Something in particular, though, caught my eye. The windows. They were floor to ceiling, revealing the Seattle skyline and the sound, beyond it. It was a spectacular sight; how anyone got any work done around here when they had a view like this, I wasn't quite sure.

"Miss Steele?" The blonde asked, dragging my attention away from the windows a few minutes later. "Mr. Grey will see you now."

I nodded and stood, my knees almost knocking together from my shaking. I fixed my skirt and blouse, running my nervous fingers through my hair once before fixing my purse on my shoulder. _Get a grip, Steele! _I told myself, _you spent almost two hours talking to the man last night. What makes this any different? _I didn't have enough time to ponder the thought as I pushed open the door, and almost stumbled into Christian's office.

He was looking down at some file on his desk, and without looking up, said confidently, "Ms. Steele. Nice to meet—" His words faltered as he looked up, his eyes widening noticeably as he took me in.

"Ana?" He looked down at his paper, shuffling some papers around until he found something, squinting his eyes as he looked down at it. "Ana_stasia _Steele?"

God, what was this man doing to me? Just hearing his deep, masculine voice made my knees tremble. I nodded my head, feeling supremely awkward, straddling the border of his personal office and the lobby.

He stood immediately, gesturing me to come in to his office. The door clicked quietly behind me as I reached forward to shake his now outstretched hand, almost giddy when I felt that zap of electricity zap through my skin as our hands met. His gaze lingered on our hands, too, for a long second before shifting to my face.

With a startle, I realized I had no clue what I should call him. Last night, he was okay with Christian but we were in a more professional setting now. Would it still be appropriate to go on a first-name basis? Or should I stick to the more formal exchange?

I decided to play it safe. "Mr. Grey," I acknowledged him, smiling shyly. "I'm sorry, you were probably expecting Kate… uh, Katherine but she fell quite ill this morning and sent me instead. I hope you don't mind."

He smiled at me warmly, and _holy crap_, last night's dim lighting did not do justice to this beautiful man's extraordinary smile. It made my insides melt to mush. "Of course not, I'm very pleased to see you again, Anastasia." I almost swooned at the way my name rolled off his tongue.

"And please, call me Christian." He continued, making his way around his desk and waving me towards a white leather sofa on the other side of his office. Jeez, this place was huge. "Would you like to sit?"

I made my way over, taking in my surroundings at the same time. After what I'd seen of the rest of this building so far, Christian's office was what I had expected, mostly. It was white all over – the ceilings, walls, floors, everything. There was a mahogany colored coffee table by the sofa, matching both, his own personal desk and another larger desk in the opposite corner which could comfortably seat at least six. The office was largely, I noticed, impersonal. There were no family pictures on his desk, nothing that would show he had any interest in anything beyond his work. It was a bit sterile.

As I settled into the surprisingly comfortable couch, Christian hovered over me. "Could I offer you any refreshments, Ana? Perhaps some tea, or coffee?"

With my nerves a jumbled mess, tea sounded like just what I needed right now. "Yes, please. Tea would be great, bag out please."

He flashed his smile at me again, a panty-combusting, should-be-illegal kind of smile, and told me he would just be a second before stepping outside his office momentarily. I took the moment to take the mini-disc recorder out of my purse, reminding myself of which buttons Kate told me to press.

Christian strode back into the room quickly, his blonde assistant hot at his heels, a mug in one hand, a saucer with a tea-cup in the other. She set them both down as Christian gracefully sunk into the chair adjacent to me.

I dunked my tea bag in and out of the steaming water quickly, turning to Christian when I felt him chuckle slightly.

Whoa. Laughing Christian was even more beautiful than smiling Christian.

"I have to say, Ana," He started, "when you turned me down last night because you were too busy, I hadn't realized you would be busy doing _this."_

Oh. Crap. I had completely forgotten that had been my excuse of choice. What do I even say to that? I felt my face burning, both with shame and embarrassment. "Umm, I hadn't … really … realized either." I squeaked, my words jumbling together. Could he tell how I flustered he made me? I discreetly coughed a second later, "So, shall we begin?"

"Whenever you're ready." He told me, sipping his coffee.

I nodded, and pressed a few buttons on the disc recorder before starting on Kate's lists of questions. They were mostly the generic kind – How had he accumulated such wealth and success at such a young age? How did the power, which he yielded so quickly, affect his life? What had inspired him to start his ending poverty initiative?

Soon though, as conversation became more interesting, his answers both riveting and smart, I found myself branching off of Kate's pre-written questions and asking him some of my own. There was something about him – I had no clue what – which made all my prior inhibitions and nerves disappear. He made me feel completely and unprecedentedly comfortable and I felt as though I could talk to him forever.

"Would you say you've had to sacrifice a lot for your work? With your family or love life, for example?" I asked in the wake of one of Kate's questions regarding his adoption.

He rubbed a long, lean finger along his bottom lip which puckered deliciously as he thought about his answer. "I have a family – a brother and sister and two very loving parents, and for now, I don't plan on expanding my family beyond that. But I suppose I have sacrificed my time with them for work, yes. I don't go on vacations with them as often as I once did, or even to very many family dinners." A frown appeared on his face at that. "But they also realize that my work is very important to me. It's what saved me."

_Saved him_? I file that tiny piece of information for a later question and focus on the current one. "But don't you need that time away from work? I mean, what do you do for fun then? Or just to chill out and de-stress from the everyday commotion of running an empire?"

"To chill out?" He flashed his teeth at me, "I don't have much time for that, but when I do, I enjoy sailing, or flying."

I felt my eyebrows shoot up, "Wow, those sound like very expensive and very solitary hobbies."

His lips lifted in a wry smile, "Well, I suppose they are. But, then again, I am a very wealthy man." I blushed. Right, of course.I'd momentarily forgotten I was interviewing a billionaire. He was an arrogant man, I had noticed, about his money and his power, but for some reason, I wasn't turned off. Quite the opposite, actually. He had worked hard to attain the level of success he had today, it only made sense that he was proud of himself for it.

"And I've always been a very private man," he continued, "which has hindered me from making many friends. I don't find that I mind it though. The solitude is an aspect that I enjoy thoroughly. Though, I do occasionally take my siblings out with me."

"Are you very close to them? Your siblings, I mean?"

His eyes crinkled just slightly, his smile growing as he told me about them. "I can stand them for much longer than I can most other people, which I suppose, isn't saying much since I don't have much choice in the matter. But at the end of the day, they are the people I trust implicitly, and that's vitally important for me in any relationship. As is honesty, and they've always maintained that – almost painfully so, might I add."

That was interesting. He didn't seem lonely – or, at least he didn't seem to mind his loneliness but I wondered about a girlfriend or a significant other. Surely, he had to have something in that department. It was only human nature.

"What about your girlfriend?" I accidentally blurted, my brain-to-mouth filter apparently malfunctioning. I really hadn't meant to come out so bluntly with that. I could feel my face turning scarlet, my teeth gnawing ferociously at my lip.

A shadow crossed Christian's face, his expression unreadable, and suddenly his fingers were on my chin, tugging my lips out of the cages of my teeth gently. My breath hitched in my throat, now that I realized how close to me he really was. We must have been leaning towards each other for some time now. The thought sent a thrill through my body. "Please stop biting your lip, Miss Steele. It's incredibly distracting." _Miss Steele!_ He hadn't referred to me this formally all day, but it sounded damn sexy coming out of his mouth. But then again, anything he said in that hushed, seductive tone of his would melt me to the ground at the moment. The fact that _I_ could have done _anything_ to distract this man at all hadn't gone unnoticed, though it failed to make sense to me. How? I was just me, plain old Anastasia Steele, and he was … _Him. _

Christian leaned back in his chair, his expression swiftly returning to neutral. Jeez, this man was as mercurial as they came. "And I don't do girlfriends. The idea of commitment does not appeal to me."

Before I could try and gather my wits to ask him to explain what the heck he meant by that, my phone rang, startling the both of us. My face turned all kinds of pink and red as my ringtone, Wannabe by the Spice Girls, special just for Kate, started blaring louder and louder in the otherwise silent room. I heaved a loud sigh of relief as I finally found it at the bottom of my purse, and flipped it open quickly.

"Hello?"

"Ana! Where the heck are you? You've been gone for hours! Are you okay? Did the interview go well?"

My eyes flew to my watch. Oh, wow! Kate was right; I had been talking to Christian's for well over two hours! "Actually … I'm still in the middle of it, Kate," I murmured, sneaking a glance at Christian. He, too, seemed to be just realizing the amount of time we'd managed to waste. I quickly told Kate goodbye, ignoring her string of questions about 'still?' and 'how?!' and turned to him, packing my disc-recorder and phone back into my purse. "Christian, I'm so sorry for wasting your entire evening. I hadn't even realized …"

He shook his head, "Please, Ana. Not at all. I …" he seemed to struggle for words. "I enjoyed this much more than I thought I would. Time seems to escape us when we're together."

He got that right, I thought. "Still, I feel terrible. I'm sure you have a lot of other work you need to tend to. I should get going," I told him, standing up. My muscles were sore from sitting in the same position for so long and I resisted the urge to start stretching.

He followed suit, his eyes glancing worriedly out at a rainy Seattle through his floor-to-ceiling windows. "I see you don't have an umbrella, Ana" he said brusquely, his tone admonishing. "I'll walk you out." He picked up an umbrella from another small table and led me out the door before I could tell him that it really was not necessary. The walk from the building to the parking deck was hardly long.

His strides were long and quick, and I struggled to keep up, smiling quickly to his assistant as we made our way to the elevator. She seemed a bit taken aback, but said nothing.

The elevator doors slid open almost instantaneously, and as soon as we both stepped in, I could feel an odd charge of electricity cackling between us. It was the same as whenever he touched my hand, but infinitely stronger. It was almost a palpable force now. I risked a quick glimpse at Christian, my eyes meeting his cloudy grey orbs, and I had to stop myself from gasping out loud. His eyes were more intense than ever, his lips set into a thin yet nearly amused line. Was it possible that he felt it too? This intense, weird, cosmic feeling?

As soon as we stepped out of the elevator, I heard him take a long, shaky breath and felt my suspicions deepen. I wanted to ask him if he could feel it – all the weirdness – but didn't dare. Instead, I resorted to convincing him through my sheer will of mind to give me some sort of hint or signal as we walked under his umbrella to the car. By the time we reached Kate's Mercedes, it was clear it hadn't worked. I felt last night's disappointment rising again.

"Thanks for doing the interview, Christian," I told him, leaning against the car, "I really appreciate it. Um, as does Kate." Jeez. That was lame. I feel so self-conscious.

"Absolutely. I hope you were able to get everything." He said smiling lightly, giving me leeway as I unlocked the door and climbed into his car. "Drive safe, Ana."

I nodded once before shutting my door. I could still feel my nerves jittering all over the place, my movements frazzled as I felt his stare still on me from the other side of the glass. All thumbs and fingers, I managed to get my seatbelt on and pushed my key into the ignition.

As soon as the engine revved up, I heard a swift knock on my window. I turned, finding Christian just barely a foot away. He looked deep in thought, his posture towering over me, commanding. With a push of a button, the glass separating us disappeared and he took that as his cue.

His eyes were humorous but noticeably nervous. That was a change. "I know you were quite busy today," I flushed. Was he going to make another jab at how I had lied yesterday? "And I'll understand if you really are busy tonight, but on the off chance that you are not, would you like to have dinner with me?"

_Oh. _I wasn't expecting that. Actually, I really wasn't expecting that. I knew I wanted to say yes. I definitely wanted to say yes. But the word was stuck in my throat, suffocated by the nervous energy flitting through my body.

"Remember, Miss Steele, you've already said no to me once before. I'm not sure I can handle another one." He added as my silence lingered a little to long. _And, again with the Miss Steele!_

I shook my head, breaking out of my own thought. "Yes. Yes, I'd love to have dinner with you, Christian."

His glorious, beautiful smile widened across his face, brightening his entire expression. "Excellent. I'll pick you up at eight, sharp. I'll call beforehand for directions." His expression unreadable, though clearly pleased, he reached forward and tucked an errant strand of hair behind my ear. My brain lost all functionality at the contact, and I continued to stare as his fingers trailed from my ear and along my jaw before he ran one along my lips once.

His eyes blazed as he pulled his hand away and immediately I wished it was back. I feel like I could explode from my sudden excitement.

"See you then, Anastasia," he said, and then he was gone.

* * *

_I'm a lightweight_  
_Better be careful what you say_  
_With every word I'm blown away_  
_You're in control of my heart_

* * *

**A/n: Thank you guys so much for the reviews/favorites/follows on the last chapter! I really appreciate them all! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well - and this story, since I realize its a bit different than the usual! I love hearing what you guys think of my story so far, so please don't forget to review :)**

**Song: Lightweight, Demi Lovato.**


	3. Chapter 3

_I really wanna love somebody_  
_I really wanna dance the night away_  
_I know we're only half way there_  
_But you can take me all the way_

* * *

"Oh, Ana! You're back!" Kate pounded on me the second I stepped into our apartment, looking, and I hoped feeling, much better than when I left her a few hours ago. Her complexion looked better and she had taken a shower, thankfully. She had also taken off yesterday's clothes and was now donning her pink pajamas with cute little bunnies all over them, reserved only for bad break-ups and sick days.

"I was starting to worry," she said, trailing me as I head to my room. "You took much longer than I was expecting."

I nodded sheepishly as I toed my shoes off and then started on my clothes. I can't stand to be in anything but sweats when I'm home. "Yeah, I guess the interview ran a little over …"

Kate plopped down on my bed, a sly grin on her face. "Yeah, I bet the interview 'ran a little over', Ana," she said, making air quotation marks and winking at me. "Give me the deets! Tell me everything that happened! What did you guys talk about?"

I rolled my eyes at her, though I can feel my face beginning to blaze. I sank into my bed beside her and found the recorder from my purse, tossing it at her. "It's all in here, Kate. The entire conversation, basically."

"Okay, a) thanks for this. I owe you big-time, Steele. And B) you mean to tell me that there was nothing – _nothing _- that you two talked about that's not on here?" She said, waving the recorder in the air.

"Well there is one thing …" I started, hesitant, for some reason to tell Kate. Instinctively, I just know that she'll make this out to be a bigger deal than it actually is. But at the same time …. It _is_ a big deal, isn't it? I mean, how often do you get asked out by a gorgeous, charitable, kind, amazing billionaire – even after you've turned him down the first time?

"Christian asked me out to dinner. Tonight." I blurted out, and watched as Kate nearly exploded to pieces right in front of me.

"What? When? Where? How? What will you wear? Oh, I know just the dress…" and she went on, her words becoming more excited with each passing breath.

And with each word, I felt my panic rising, my head becoming dizzy. I had to stop her now before I lost my wits completely.

"Kate, stop!" I nearly screeched, and watched as she froze completely mid-sentence, her expression confused. "I … I don't know if I should do this, though. I don't know if I can …"

Her eyes nearly bulged out at my admission, but I could already see her wheels starting to turn, one of the brilliant pep-talks Kate was famous for headed my way. I almost sighed in relief at the thought.

"Stop all this right here, Steele. Of course you can do this, and you _will_. It's just a date – you've been on one of these before—"

"Not in like two years, though. I mean, I've completely forgotten how this works. What do I say, what do I do, I mean …" I let out a sigh. The last date I had been on was in sophomore year of college, and it had ended terribly. As had most others. I was no good at this; maybe it was better to _not_ go on this date with Christian tonight so I could always recall the memory of him and his utter beauty fondly, before I mar it with all the embarrassment I'm sure to face tonight.

Kate snapped me out of my thoughts. "You didn't know what to do today, either, but you managed it! In fact, it must have gone _really_ well for him to have asked you out again. Just let things happen naturally, Ana. Don't think about it too much, and definitely don't stress about it. Okay?"

I took in Kate's words and repeated them in my head. Don't think about it, don't stress about it. The words went against everything that I instinctively was, but I knew it was what I had to believe if I had any hope of getting through this.

I turned to Kate and sucked in a shaky breath. "Okay, okay …. I can do this," I said, mostly to myself. I looked back to up to Kate, realizing just how lost I would be without her. "Will you help me get ready?"

She looked at me like I'd grown a third head. "God, Steele. It's almost as if you don't know me at all. Of course I'll help you – I've already got the outfit planned out!"

And before I could tell her not to put me in something too scandalous or inappropriate or, basically, anything that she would wear on a first date, Kate was already racing out my room and into her own, yelling at me from down the hall to follow her.

* * *

By the time Kate was finished with me, I had to admit, she'd outdone herself. Last night, she had managed to transform my plain-jane face into something spectacular, just as she had this morning – but this … this woman standing in front of me, she was somehow even more better.

Last night and this morning, the change had felt like it was on the surface. It wasn't me – it was someone else who resembled me but wore far more make-up than I ever had and outfits that I had always envied on others but never once dreamt of wearing it myself in fear of making a fool of myself. But tonight … tonight, I was me. I was Ana Steele. But, I was still transformed, still better.

Kate had ushered me into the shower not long after we'd decided on an outfit, and instead of twisting my hair that way or curling it this way, she had just blow-dried it dry and let it hang loose over my shoulders. According to Kate, the look for tonight was "less is more" and I, for one, I was happy with that. My make-up was just the way I liked it – light and barely noticeable. And my dress – or, rather, Kate's dress that we had somehow managed to uncover from the dark depths of her closet – was the real prize. It was a dark plum colored dress that, once again, managed to make my rather unshapely body look curvy in all the right places the way it clung so tightly. I made a mental note to start shopping for dresses more often. It was clear as day that the jeans and sweat-shirt look I had stuck to since the beginning of my college days was not doing me any favors.

Just as I bent down to cut the tags off my still-unused suede nude pumps Kate had bought me for my birthday almost two years, my phone rang. I picked it up, shoes in one hand and scissors in the other, and stared at the number. I didn't have it saved, nor could I recall it from anywhere else and answered into the speaker as I stuck the phone in the crook of my neck.

"Hello."

"Anastasia," I froze at the voice I instantly recognized and my shoes slipped from my fingers, the edge of the heels just narrowly missing my feet. "It's Christian."

"Oh! Christian … uh, hi! How are you?" God, I sounded like such a spaz. I hastily picked up my shoes from the floor and plopped onto my bed, suddenly incapable of even the simplest of tasks such as standing.

He chuckled, probably at my breathless and unnerved voice. He was probably re-thinking this whole date thing this very moment. Heck, he might even be calling to call the whole thing off. I almost felt myself sigh in relief at the thought, though a sharper pang of an emotion I couldn't exactly describe clouded the relief almost instantaneously. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, I _really_ hoped he wasn't calling to make excuses. In just two short meetings, I was already more drawn to Christian Grey than I'd like to admit.

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"Good."

"Good." He replied, "I was just calling to inform you that I'll be outside your building in ten minutes, so long as you haven't changed your mind about tonight."

"No!" I said, and winced right after, the word almost too loud. "I mean, no, I haven't. Have you?"

He was silent for a moment, and I braced myself for some sort of rejection.

"No, Ana. I, too, have not changed my mind …" he said, and then paused, his voice softened ever so slightly. "I don't think I could, if I tried Anastasia."

Before I could dissect just what that meant, Christian cleared his voice, his tone back to normal. "I will see you soon."

And then, before I could ask how he knew where I lived, or how the heck he got a hold of my phone number without me giving it to him, Christian clicked off, leaving me to wonder.

* * *

As soon as I stepped out of my room to answer the buzzing intercom which I assumed was Christian, my heels clacking on our apartment's wooden floors, I heard Kate whistle at me from behind.

"Holy-freaking-shit, Steele. I cannot believe you've been hiding that banging ass body from me this whole time! I mean … whoa. You look freaking fantastic."

I rolled my eyes at her as I stuffed my keys into my clutch, along with my phone and a pack of mints. "I don't really …" I started, readying my 'usual self-deprecating crap' as Kate liked to put it, before she cut me off, holding my by my shoulders.

"No, shut up, Ana. You look amazing. Like, really freaking amazing. Stop putting yourself down and just own it for once."

I sighed, knowing that arguing with Kate would be useless right now. When you looked like Kate, it was easy to own and love how you looked. Looking like me, it just wasn't as easy. But she would never understand that.

Instead, I hugged her goodbye and started down the hall, my nerves coiling in the pit of my stomach as I pushed the elevator button. The elevator dinged, notifying me of its presence and I numbly walked towards it, only to be stopped by a breathless Kate grasping my shoulders, a few small foil packets in her fingers.

"Keep these, just in case." She said, opening my clutch and securing the packets into a pocket.

"Condoms?! Kate, don't you think you're being a bit presumptuous," I shrieked, my face blushing furiously. Kate knew how difficult it was for me to be intimate with anyone, let alone a man I'd met just twenty-four hours ago. "I mean, this is our first date …"

"Ana, looking the way you do right now, I don't think I'm being _anything_. Besides, better to be safe than sorry. "

I groaned, but she cut off any protests I might have made and pushed me into the elevator, jabbing the large 'L' button for me.

"Okay, have fun. Be safe. And, if things get a little …uh, hot and heavy, feel free to come back to the apartment. I'll be out till late with Ethan." She said, and then the doors closed, leaving me in the elevator with just my thoughts and my rapid heartbeats.

* * *

Clad in a crisp white shirt, dark jeans and a navy blue jacket, Christian was leaning against a sleek, black Audi as I made my way through my largely empty lobby. He had his blackberry in his hand, a look of complete concentration masking his face as his fingers typed away furiously. His hair was tousled, like he'd just woken and did nothing to it but run his fingers through it and he looked downright amazing. I was momentarily stunned that this God of a man was here, in front of my building, waiting for me so he could take me on a date. I felt like I had entered an alternate universe of some sort.

His eyes snapped up to me as I neared, his cloudy grey orbs clearing almost instantly as he stowed his phone into his front pocket and blinked a few times, taking in my appearance. His eyes darkened a bit as he continued his un-abashed stare and he smiled a slow, sexy smile as he kicked off the car, towards me. I could already feel myself squirming, nervous from his intimidating and beautiful presence. Being around him wasn't getting any easier over time on me. In fact, it almost felt like it was getting more difficult. But I didn't care. It was even more difficult to keep myself away.

He walked over to meet me and leaned down briefly to kiss my cheek, his lips lingering on my skin. He pulled back, but only enough so that his lips were at my ear, and murmured, "You look stunning, Ana."

I flushed, his breathe sending shivers from my ear down to the rest of my body. He smelled delicious, and an unbidden image of me straddling Christian's lap in his shiny black car entered my head, awakening my libido. I could feel my face starting to blush – Jeez! Who even was I? I'd spent the better half of my life not feeling a thing for anyone, and suddenly, just looking at this man was making me feel all types of lustful.

I barely mumbled out a 'thanks' before Christian was already leading me towards the car, his hand gently leading me by the elbow. As ever, I could feel the light thrumming of electricity where our skin met and I wondered again if he could feel it as well. It couldn't be just me, could it?

He opened the door of his car and helped me in, automatically reminding me of all the guys Kate had complained about who had failed in doing this simple gesture. It was 'modern romance,' Kate had always complained. Completely devoid of any chivalry. But, again, Christian continued to shower me with the perfection that he seemed to be.

In seconds, he was settling in beside me, and fastening his seatbelt. His very presence was intoxicating, and I found myself fumbling idiotically as I tried to buckle my own belt and missed embarrassingly. I heard him chuckle from beside me and suddenly he leant over me, his chest brushing lightly against mine as he took the metal buckle from my weak grasp and clicked it with ease.

"That nervous, huh?" He smirked, but it wasn't mean or condescending. Instead, he looked amused, like he was in on a joke that only the two of us knew.

I tried to smile, willing all my nerves to disappear so I could stop overanalyzing and start enjoying. "Just a little bit."

He covered my hand that was resting on my lap with his own and gave it a small squeeze. "Don't be."

That's all he said – it was almost like a command. And then he sat back in his seat and started up his car. It purred to life, quietly and gracefully much unlike Wanda, my old VW Beetle, who needs a bit of gentle coaxing each time I need to go anywhere.

As he turned out of his parking spot and onto the empty street, Christian pushed a button on his glossy gray console, filling the car with the soft, crooning voice of Michael Buble, and we were off, his hand still holding mine gently,

* * *

We pulled up to our destination after a short fifteen minute drive, and as Christian put the car in park at the valet before coming around to open my door, I couldn't help but stare at the sight in front of me, mesmerized. The Columbia Tower, impressive during the day, looked even more incredible at night. It stood tall and confident, all dark glass and steel, the focal point of the downtown Seattle skyline. It glittered in the sky, the Pacific Ocean its backdrop.

I looked to Christian as he handed his key off and slipped a small card in his front pocket.

"Where are we going?"

"One of my clubs," he said, pulling my hand in his and flashing me a panty-busting, heart-exploding smile. "I really am very pleased you agreed to go on this date with me, Anastasia. You look absolutely ravishing. That color suits you well."

I blushed, and mumbled a 'thanks' at the compliment – my awkward but usual go-to response to them. And then I focused on the first half of his response, "Your club? As in..?"

"As in I own it," he said, pulling me into what looked like a private elevator.

"Oh." I said, my only response. Of course, the man not only ran an unimaginably large empire, but he also owned clubs. When did he sleep? OR have time for anything that wasn't work related?

The thoughts, however, flew out of my head as the elevator began whisking us up, further and further, giving me the most fantastical view of Seattle imaginable. The digitial numbers at the top of the elevator soared higher and higher, passing by at an alarming speed, indicating the stories we were passing. Finally, as we reached the 76th floor, the elevator doors slid open, revealing a hostess' table, the words Mile High Club emblazoned in sharp, grey lettering atop. As we stepped forward, the hostess' head snapped up towards us in attention, her green eyes nearly bulging out as she took Christian in. She rounded the table quickly, but gracefully, her eyes sultry as she approached us. Or rather, just him, as I was nearly positive that she had yet to notice me. Her focus was solely on Christian, and I hated to admit that it bothered me a bit.

"Mr. Grey, it's an honor –"

Christian held up his palm, effectively cutting the blonde hostess off before she could get any further with her introductions. She seemed taken aback, and I couldn't help but feel just a tiny bit smug about that.

"Private booth by the windows," he said, his voice confident and authoritative, the tone letting the hostess know he wasn't interested in any small talk.

She nodded her head and quickly led us down a small corridor that led to a much bigger venue. The club was crowded, but we walked towards the far end, away from the groups of people huddled together, chatting and laughing over drinks and food, and into a small alcove, hidden by a black and white printed curtain. She pushed the dark material of cloth aside, revealing a small black circular table surrounded by a plush, white L-shaped sofa. The skyline of Seattle was behind us, visible through the floor to ceiling windows.

Christian helped me in first before taking a seat next to me, close enough that his trouser-clad thighs were touching my bare ones.

The blonde set menus in front of us, but I'm the only one to pick it up. Once again, before the hostess, for whom I was starting to feel just a tiny bit sympathetic for, could get in a word in in front of intimidating and clearly domineering boss, Christian began again, ordering without even glancing at the menu. Although, since the place was his, I supposed he didn't really need to.

He turns to me slightly, his legs rubbing against mine, "Shirazi Barossa okay with you?"

Suddenly, I'm thankful for Kate and the fact that she only recently forced me to go on a wine-tasting trip with her and her family in California after we had graduated. Although I'm not sure if it was one of the ones I liked or not, the name of the wine he just mentioned does ring a bell so I nod my head. "That's fine, Christian."

Then, as I skim the menu quickly, he tells the blonde the rest of his order; a sirloin steak with bordelaise sauce and fries. I quickly decide on the first thing I see – smoked salmon. I smile at the blonde once I've ordered, but she doesn't seem to notice … or care.

Once she's gone, Christian turns to me, his cool and arrogant persona softened now that it's just the two of us.

He drapes an arm over the couch, behind me, and his fingertips rest softly on my shoulder that's away from him.

"So, I told you quite a lot about myself this morning. I think it's only fair you get the same chance now."

Oh, God. I hated this part of first dates – the talking about yourself part. I wasn't extra-ordinary by any measure, and telling Christian, the business mogul/sex God that he was, would only bore him to sleep.

But, before I could rake my brain with something interesting about myself to say, Christian starts his own line of questioning, and I almost feel like we're back in his office with the tape-recorder, only this time, reversed.

"Do you have siblings, Ana?"

I sighed a breath of relief. We're starting off easy. "Nope," I said, taking a sip of the wine that a blonde – a one from the hostess – has just poured into our glasses. Hmm, this is crisp and delicious. "I'm an only child, unfortunately."

He nods, "Maybe it's not such an unfortunate thing. I can name a good handful of times I've wished that I was. Tell me about your parents."

I giggle, and his fingers one my arm fall a little further down my shoulder when I do. "Yes, but I'm sure you can think of a few hundred handful of times that you've been grateful for them. I always wanted a sibling – you know, someone who'll be your best friend or your confidante that you can trust implicitly. Although I suppose Jose and Kate are that for me now. But, as for my parents – my father died when I was an infant. And my mother re-married … and then re-married. And then re-married."

His eyes narrowed at that, his fingers now lazily moving back and forth on my skin, sending shivers down my body. "Did that bother you? Your mother re-marrying and you having to completely change your life because of it?"

I shrugged, "Not really. When my mom divorced Ray, her second husband, I moved in with him."

His expression was confused at that, "You chose to live with your step-father?"

"Yeah, I mean, I love my mom, but she's flighty and spontaneous and everything that I'm not. Ray took me in, gave me the stability I needed. He's my dad."

When he said nothing after that, I tried to focus the questioning back on him. "What about you? What's your family like?"

He smiled, a slow, sexy, sly smile and shook his head. "Not so quick, Miss. Steele. We're not done with your questions yet." And then he thought for a second, "Do you like to travel?"

I snorted, feeling significantly plain-Jane. People like Chrisitian and Kate were wordly, had travelled all around, and experienced new cultures first-hand. Meanwhile, I had spent my life depending on books and other people's experiences in order to live vicariously through them. "No, I've never even travelled outside the continental United States."

Christian tucked a lose strand of hair behind my ear, his finger lingering there, and I realized he'd been quite touchy-feely all night. But, instead of freaking me out, the touch was inviting … alluring. I wanted to touch him back, but didn't know how. My fingers were itching to brush his shoulder, or rest on his thigh.

I refrained, though, paying extra-hard attention to his words as he spoke. "A girl like you deserves to see all the riches the world has to offer, Anastasia."

Huh? What did that even mean? Why 'a girl like me'?

"Where would you like to go most?"

This was easy. "England."

His eyebrow arched a shadow of a smile on his lips. "Out of all the places in this world, you would c hose to go to England? A smaller version of America, just with more cattle and, admittedly, nicer accents?"

I shrugged, smiling back shyly. "It's home to all the greats, though. Jane Austen, Virginia Woolf, Shakespeare …"

He nodded, "Do you enjoy writing as much as you do reading?"

_Oh. _I wasn't expecting this question. "No – I, I don't write …"

His eyebrows knit in confusion. "Why not?"

I didn't have an answer to this. Well, I had many. I was grossly under confident, I hadn't lived or experienced enough to write about it, I hadn't done anything worthy of documenting … the list was long. And none of it did I want to share.

Before I could think of a decent answer, though, the waitress returned with our food, distracting us both and putting the question to rest.

* * *

I rested my fork on my plate as I took the last and final bite of salmon that I could swallow without exploding. Luckily, the questioning had stopped shortly after our food arrived, and the conversation veered off down memory lane. He told me a few stories about his family, which left me in tears more than once from laughing too hard. Most of them were about Elliot, whom I seemed to like. I suddenly hoped Kate and him would actually connect again – how cool would it be if we dated brothers?

And then I caught myself. _Dated!? _Christian and I were on our first date. We weren't dating. Jeez.

I shared some stories of my own, too, although I'm sure the amount of wine I had consumed had all to do with that. Some were about Kate and some about Jose, and just a few about myself - about our early days as confused freshman in college, trying to figure our way out and screwing up more often than not, and then the later days of being arrogant seniors and acting like we knew everything when honestly, we still knew close to nothing.

The smiles I got from him in return nearly stopped my heart more than once, and the laughter had me melting. This man was far, far too perfect. Superior, already, to any other man I had even bothered speaking to before. He was in a league of his own, and he was sitting here, talking to me, laughing with me – it baffled my mind.

As the waitress came back once more, this time to clear our dishes, my heart sank. The night was over, and more likely than not, he wouldn't ask me out for a second date. Despite the laughs and the smiles, he had probably realized by now that I wasn't up to par for what he was used to. I was un-cultured, and from a completely different social-class. I hadn't grown up going to different countries every Christmas, and even now, I barely made in one year what he probably made in one day. We were from to different worlds.

I picked up my clutch from where I'd left it to my side, assuming we were about to leave. As I turned, though, I found Christian leaning closer to me than before, his eyes dark with something I couldn't quite place.

He reached forward and traced his finger along my jaw, his other arm drawing me near around the shoulders.

His voice was suddenly husky, his breath in my ear. "That Jose you spoke of earlier … is he your boyfriend?"

I felt like a deer caught in headlights. My breathing was coming out in short, rapid spurts, my pulse racing uncontrollably just from his close proximity.

I shook my head. "N-no, why do you ask?"

He leaned closer, and suddenly I knew what I saw in his eyes. It was clear – desire. Desire … for me? I couldn't fathom it. But in this moment, I also couldn't care.

"Because, I want to kiss you. And I want to make sure it's what you want, and that you're not taken already by some other fucker."

_Whoa_. "I'm not—"

The rest of my words cut off as his mouth swoops down on mine. He kissed me, and it was slow, and perfect and sensual. I moaned softly as he licked his way into my mouth, his tongue dancing with mine. He gripped me tighter, one hand on my back, the other holding my face to his. I felt my own hands slide from his shoulders to his hair, tugging him closer, closer, closer until there was no room left.

And then suddenly, the kiss wasn't slow anymore. It was violent. It was white-hot. I felt his teeth scrape my lips, his tongue battling mine fiercely and it was all so damn sexy.

He pulled my leg across his lap, and suddenly, something within me awoke. I felt more alive, more bold in that moment than ever before. Glancing quickly at the curtain to make sure it was shut, I climbed on to Christian's lap, straddling him, my lips still melting on his.

His fingers were sliding upwards from the thighs, his fingers lightly prodding at the hem of my dress.

"God, you're amazing, Ana." He mumbled into my lips, only adding to my ecstasy.

I pulled away, nearly fainting at the sight in front of me. Christian Grey, with his hair unruly from my fingers running through it, his eyes smoldering with lust, his breaths shallow and short as he visibly tried to control his erratic heartbeat … all because of me – from kissing me, from touching me. I could die.

I let my fingers linger on his face and leaned into him, "Can we get out of here?"

He looked shocked momentarily, and then nodded. He lifted me off of him easily, and then fixed his shirt as I straightened my dress before weaving his fingers with mine and racing out of the club at break-neck speed … literally.

* * *

_But if I fall for you, i'll never recover_  
_If I fall for you, i'll never be the same_

* * *

**A/N: So, I have no real excuses for why it took me so ridiculously long to write this chapter other than I was on vacation for a while and I had terrible, terrible writers block. I really don't intend on taking _this_ long to have chapters up again, I promise. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this and are bracing yourselves for a bit of a wild ride with Christian and Ana very soon ... ;) Reviews, as always, are appreciated. Thank you, guys!**

**Song: Love Somebody, Maroon 5 (also known as the best band to have ever existed ... just saying.)**


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